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Jerks at work

Jerks at Work by Tessa West is a practical guide for understanding and dealing with difficult coworkers. West uses psychological research to offer strategies for navigating toxic work environments and building healthier relationships.

Key Points:

  • Understanding Jerks: The book categorizes jerks into different types, such as the A-hole, Know-It-All, Slacker, Overbearing Boss, and Passive-Aggressive.
  • Identifying Jerks: West provides tools to recognize these behaviors and understand the underlying motivations.
  • Dealing with Jerks: The book offers practical advice for handling difficult situations, including setting boundaries, communicating effectively, and seeking support.
  • Protecting Yourself: West emphasizes the importance of self-care and maintaining emotional well-being in toxic environments.
  • Creating a Positive Workplace: The book encourages readers to foster a supportive and respectful work culture.

Key Strategies: - Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your expectations and limits to prevent jerks from crossing lines. - Use "I" Statements: Express your feelings and concerns in a non-accusatory manner. - Document Interactions: Keep a record of incidents to protect yourself and build a case if necessary. - Seek Support: Talk to a trusted colleague, mentor, or HR representative. - Focus on Your Goals: Remember your career aspirations and stay focused on your own success.

1. Kiss Up / Kick Downer

Who

  • They belittle you in front of the people you are trying to impress.
  • They reserve the nastiest behavior for one-on-one time.
  • If your boss is overwhelmed/overworked and need favors, they are quick to offer help.
  • They approach high power people outside of work.

Why

To get to the top by any means.

How to deal?

  • Find who else might have been the victims. This can be found through a well-connected ally or talking with others w/o bringing up the topic directly.
  • Document the facts and build your proofs.
  • Talk to the supervisor that how such behavior is bad for "our work environment" and lead them to seek feedback from other victims.
  • Be patient and wait. Real result takes time.
  • If you are a boss, give everyone equal shots.

2. Credit-Stealers

Who

  • Opportunistic who use the group settings where credits are not tracked; to steal the credit.
  • Sometimes the credit-stealers are smart people who can exploit your half-backed idea, refine and present it to the bosses.
  • Sometimes credit-stealing is non-intentional. Our personal biases (such as over-estimating our contribution) can feel that credit-stealing is justified.

How to deal?

  • Cultivate your voice ie become respected by your coworkers and your boss even before you enter the room. Become advice tie ie someone who are sought out for advice. Advice tie is not same as friendship tie. Don't make friends, that can backfire.
  • Confront the credit stealer: "What is your perspective on the idea?"
  • In team setting, allocate the work and then record who did what well before the outcome is available ie credit the work put in and not the success of the outcome.

3. Micro-manager

Who

  • They ask you to do more work but without a reasonable timeline. Everything is equally urgent and must be done now.
  • They are bad at communicating the big picture.
  • They are too much focused on trees (and their shape) and miss the forest.
  • If they micro-manage people in rotations, this leads to neglectful behavior.

Why

  • They were good at their old job and got promoted, not because they are good at directing people. They have no ideas for you, so they keep you busy (but not productive)
  • They believe more monitoring equals more performance.
  • Sometimes they fear mistakes (and want to avoid them)

How to deal?

  • If you confront, avoid generalization and use the specific examples.
  • Set up regular check-ins.
  • Ask the big picture: how does what I do matter in the big picture?